Maybe is because of my sickness, I have been throwing tantrums. I find everything annoying. Nothing has been done, angry at myself why can't I get my gradually expanding butt off the chair, away from the computer to get myself clean and smelling good (ya, now you know I do smells bad most of the time).
For example, I did absolutely nothing during my past two days. Do you know what's on my agenda for those two days though? I intend to first, wash my clothes that are piling up, and second, cut my nails. Only those two that I have to do for the past two days. Of course there are others I wanted that need not to be mentioned here. But instead, I use those two days sleep till almost noon time, stack up the fat on my thigh and butt right in front of the computer for the rest of the day till midnight, actually past midnight. Can you imagine how productive is my life? Not productive at all.
I am so annoyed at my life, yet did absolutely nothing. Can you believe that my nails are so long that they can be used as a weapon? I even accidentally scratch myself many times.
I have been cussing a lot lately. See, many sees me as the girl who never throw tantrums, never cuss, good at study, and all that good stuff. I guess I just look too studious. Often times they are shock after knowing the real me. Hello, confession here! I am not what I look, K? And I sure did not intend to give you the false impression on me. I will just have to find out how to look more... er... something else, hah, and quit cussing too. Ya, cussing is bad.
Oh, guess what, I went to eat by myself today. I believe this is my first ever sitting in the restaurant and eating by myself. Hate that. I just dislike eating by myself. But I want to eat my pills. So I have no choice but pretending to be busy reading one of the novel while eating Alone...
They even have a WikiHow on How to Eat Alone in a Restaurant. Let me cut and paste for you.
Steps
1. Choose a lively dining spot with food you like that has quick service.
2. Ask for a seat at the counter or bar. In addition to ordering a drink, the bar tender can often show you the menu. It's very common for those eating alone to sit at a counter or bar.
3. If no bar or counter is available or you simply prefer a table, ask the hostess to seat you. Just say "table for 1 please" or "it's just me this evening." Smile. It's ok, they want to serve you and are happy you came. If there is a seat by a performer, such as a piano player, ask to be seated near the entertainment.
4. Engage the waiter if you are looking for conversation. Ask them to recommend a dish or ask about the local weather.
5. Bring a book, magazine, or newspaper to read while you are waiting for your meal. This will put you at ease.
6. Enjoy your meal. When the waiter comes by and asks you how everything is, tell them fine and ask for the check even if you are not finished eating. This way you won't have to prolong the time you sit at the table alone.
7. If you are enjoying yourself, you may try to relax and do some people watching. If you catch someone's eye, just smile.
8. If you get up during your meal before you have finished to use the restroom, let the waiter know you'll be right back so they don't clear your plate by mistake.
9. Pay your bill and tip your waiter and thank the host on the way out. How lucky for you to have someone cook for you and wait on you.
OK. I did most of what they have listed there. Still, extremely uncomfortable. I don't mind eating alone at home, cause there are always TV who eats with you. But in public, there's no way to go.
Googled. I don't know who this is. Not good at photo editing either. But that picture explains exactly the feel I went through. I have that 1500ml of drinking water in front of me too.
Anyway... Enough rambling. I am going to clean myself now. Ciao.
Mood: Sandy.
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